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He Loves Me But I Do Not Possess His Love

I experienced conflict with someone very close to me the other day. Later that night, I was reminded of God’s deep and perfect love for me and my inability to love another as He loves me. And so I wrote, because that’s what I do when I’m feeling strong emotion. I imagine C.S. Lewis may have been feeling something similar when he wrote “As the Ruin Falls“.

I do not love with my Savior’s love;
perfect in wisdom and never in need
As He is.

Every act of “love”,
Every descent into “humility” or “selflessness”
is stained with an incapability
to see unhindered past my own skin
and an uncorrectable bent toward personal profit.

But my Savior.
My Savior Loves.
He cannot profit from my loss,
And so He gives only good to me

Whether it be:
The Rod of Discipline,
An Encouraging Word,
A Quiet Nearness,
A Desert of Suffering,
or A Startling Grace

He is perfect in His ways.
And I am not.
He is my portion.
And somehow I am His.

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