I Used to be Good at Ministry

First, I should start by acknowledging that I did, in fact, notice that it’s been two months since I last blogged. Hopefully that shouldn’t happen again for a little while, but no guarantees. In case you didn’t know, I was busy getting a job, an apartment, and a wife. I’m not going to write much about that here because I share those sorts of things in my monthly ministry updates. If you’d like to get those, please email me about it, but I’m going to try and keep this space reserved for deeper inner thoughts rather than a summary of my life’s plot line.

I’m writing this because I’ve come to some humbling realizations in the last couple of months that sound something like this:

Marriage and church leadership call for substantially more maturity than I currently have.

For now, I’m going to just focus on sharing some thoughts on the church leadership aspect, because I’m still essentially clueless when it comes to marriage. When I was a college student, New Life Church gave me incredible training in character, doctrine, and ministry skills. I went to four summer Leadership Training programs, spent countless hours with pastors and senior staff members learning how they do ministry, and spent considerable time  myself in the trenches with students in all different kinds of situations, needing to know God more.

As a result, I could tell you all sorts of things that “worked” and “didn’t work” in ministry. I’m the kind of guy who flourishes with structures and systems, and likes making them more efficient. I could tell you all the ways in which the systems of various churches were flawed and could use improvement. I could tell you how to improve your discipleship methods, your counseling, your teaching, your music, your greeting, the list goes on. But when I was told I would be leading a house church at New Life, a lot of that changed.

I mean, I knew it was coming for some time, but it’s a bit different when the moment actually hits you. All along, I was telling people in my mind how to “do church better”, but now that I was given a flock and told, “Go, lead these people” I suddenly wasn’t so full of answers. I mean, where do you even start? I could tell you where everyone else’s ideas were lacking, but now that I was given space to move forward with my own brilliant plan, I was suddenly the one who was lacking in the ministry intelligence department. I finally began coming to terms with the following reality:

Ministry is not a science, it’s an art.

I’ve even heard our lead pastor use that exact phrase before, but I really didn’t know the first thing about what he meant until now. There just isn’t a “best” way to do it; I think all the “best practices” manuals had me fooled. Someone forgot to tell me that even if I’m careful to put into practice all seven of Andy Stanley’s Practices of Effective Ministry (which is a fine book), I could still have a horrible ministry.

Perhaps there are ways to do do ministry better, but there are no magic formulas. Like art, the main ingredient in effective ministry is much more inspiration than it is ingenuity. As obvious or trite as it might sound, leading people into greater intimacy with Christ actually requires the Holy Spirit’s leading and blessing at every step of the way. If at any point you begin leading out of your own understanding, you’re actually taking people backwards (Proverbs 3:5-8, 1 Corinthians 3:18-23). And since most things our culture calls “successful” are the products of human understanding, it’s really easy to think the same can apply to church. As a result, many ministries that look effective actually aren’t, and vice versa. It’s all a part of the methods of a God who turns the patterns of this world upside-down, I guess. The last finish first, the humble are exalted, and the high-and-mighty crumble.

As I sifted endlessly through vision statements, teachings, and models for ministry, I realized that none of them could change the world. All the “best” ideas sound surprisingly empty without the Spirit’s inspiration and confirmation. We’re not here to transform people’s minds; we’re here to listen to where Christ is leading His Church and to shepherd his people in that direction. I found this realization equally freeing as it was disturbing. While it forced me to temporarily scratch my endless strategizing, I found great comfort in the fact that I don’t have to be a genius to do ministry well.  I found great comfort in Matthew 6:7-8.

Let me explain why. The pagans Jesus is referring to would enlist the help of many different gods in their prayers by listing them all out, and constantly repeating them in the hopes that they would call on the name of the god that could help them with their particular request. I found Jesus’ response to them very comforting:

“Stop trying so hard to make sure that God’s blessing is in what you’re doing. I already know what you need. Just be like a child before me, depending on me for every step you take, and I’ll make sure everything works out just right.” (my paraphrase)

That was a pretty crazy realization for me, but it brings more peace than you can imagine. How cool is it that my day-to-day success has nothing to do with how smart or capable I am, but only how much I depend on the One who is infinitely capable? I think it may just be the stress remedy the world’s been looking for.

I want to finish with a scene from Prince Caspian that’s been especially poignant for my wife and me as we take on this new position of leadership together:

[Caspian, Peter, Edmund, and Susan all kneel in front of Aslan]
Aslan: Rise, kings and queens of Narnia.
[Peter, Edmund, and Susan stand up, but Caspian stays on one knee]
Aslan: All of you.
Prince Caspian: I do not think I am ready.
Aslan: It is for that very reason, that I know you are.

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