In my last post, I shared about how I’ve struggled to boldly speak truth to others because I fear messing it up, even if my intentions are good. This blog post is going to deal with how we can respond to difficult responses to our truth-telling when we acted in ignorance or foolishness, even if our intentions were not evil. In sharing this, I am making two assumptions about the circumstance:
1) Your actions were not perfect in every way.
2) You are receptive to God’s response.
My thoughts will not make sense of a situation that doesn’t satisfy those criteria.
That being said, I want to tell you a parable that has given me significant freedom from the prison of despair that once accompanied my well-intentioned but unwise truth-telling.
Suppose you are a parent who owns a house and you have a toddler who doesn’t really know much of
anything yet. You desire to keep your house hospitable for guests and generally neat. One day, your toddler realizes how much he really loves you for being such a wonderful parent, so he paints you a lovely mural…all over your walls. It’s a picture of your beautiful, happy family, and he’s celebrating all of you through art. He delightfully screams, “Look, Daddy!!!”
You turn around…
…Only to see your previously spotless walls covered in all the colors of the rainbow.
You know that he doesn’t know any better; you’ve never actually explicitly told him not to fingerpaint on the walls before, and it’s clear that he did this as an act of love, thinking you would actually rather enjoy it. But, of course, his artwork runs quite contrary to your decorative scheme and broader goal of keeping tidy. How would you (a loving, understanding, gracious parent who wants to keep a tidy house) respond to your child’s newfound artistic expression?
I’m not sure about the answer to this because I’ve never had kids (and am only seldom “loving, understanding and gracious”), but I think a loving response might look something like:
“Oh my goodness, thank you so much for that beautiful picture! It’s clear you really love Daddy a lot, and I really appreciate you making a painting for me. I’m not mad at you, because I know that you didn’t know any better. But from now on, I’d like you to keep your painting to the canvas and paper because painting on the walls actually hurts the house, and I also really care about our guests having a pleasant experience here. Can you do that for me from now on?”
And then I would paint over it.
Leaving no trace of the original offense.
The God of the Universe is a far more loving, understanding and gracious father than any of us could ever hope to be (Luke 11:13). To think that our Heavenly Father holds our foolish acts against us when they were done out of a sincere love for him seems absolutely ridiculous to me. In fact, we see in the Scriptures that God quickly forgives even the most heinous of sins when they were committed in ignorance (Acts 3:13-19, Acts 17:29-30, 1 Timothy 1:13-14).
But notice that in every case, he quickly extends the opportunity for repentance, because it would be unloving of God to just forgive us and allow us to continue in our destructive folly without offering a richer way of life in exchange. God desires intimate relationship with us, so he tells us his desires, that we might experience the fullness of his life. Just like the loving father who tells his child that he would do well to stick with painting on paper from now on.
I want you to know that it’s ridiculous of you to think that your foolishness and brokenness (apparent in your inability to boldly speak truth without some stain of sin) could somehow ruin God’s sovereign plan for another person’s life. It’s every bit as ridiculous as it is to believe that a toddler could forever ruin a household via fingerpainting while his father is present. Our God is powerful enough to completely remove the stains of your foolishness forever, gracious enough to not hold it against you, and loving enough to discipline you and lead you into greater understanding of his heart and character (“How much more will your Father in Heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”).
So rather than going through my 4-part godless grieving process I introduced in the last post when I hurt someone via my good intentions gone awry, I have actually begun to learn to:
1) Confess my foolishness to the other person and to God in the moment, apologizing for the hurt I’ve caused (regardless of my intention).
2) Repent of the wrongdoing.
3) Immediately walk in the exhilarating freedom that God is painting over all of the stains of my mistakes in both of our lives, in many cases covering over it with something even more beautiful than was there before.
Instead of despair over my inadequacy, I now know the delight of being broken but forgiven. For a perfect example of this kind of repentance, mercy and restoration, check out Job 42.
So I want to take this opportunity to speak some truth into your life. For your sake and the sake of the world, please(!)…
Go out and be bold.
Speak the word of God in the best way you know how, and do not fear the consequences. You are not so mighty as to be able to thwart God’s redemptive plan for this world. He loves the things that you do out of your desire to live for Him, and He is faithful to reveal and cover over all your foolishness with his grace, and to instruct you in the way you should go. If you are continually humble and attentive to his voice, you have no reason to fear his discipline. He does every bit of it because he’s crazy about you and longs for you to know Him deeply. Leave your life of fear and hiding behind, and begin to dance in the freedom of his rich mercy.
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